Raisonnement, Confiance and Fric - Pararae

Name: Pararae
Story Title : Raisonnement, Confiance and Fric
Story URL: http://peaceful-pandemonium.blogspot.com/2010/04/raisonnement-confiance-and-fric.html
Reviewer: DarkAngel

Title: 5/5

-Very nice! It captured the readers’ attention! It related to the story and was very creative. Good job!

Poster/Background: -/10

-No points for this, but the picture was very nice! I thought it looked pretty.

Forewords: 5/5

-I guess I can count the introduction as the forewords. If so, then 5 POINTS! It was very unique and creative to add in the definitions of the words. That isn’t seen often in stories, so kudos for that.

Plot: 14/15

-It was a creative and different plot. I liked it. It was interesting when I found out they were female assassins. You don’t see those around anymore! It was nice to read something unique and different.

Flow: 8/10

-I didn’t find it rushed, but it was slightly lagging or slow. Since this was a one shot drabble, I couldn’t exactly tell.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 14/15

-There were just a few typos and mistakes, but they weren’t huge ones. It’s one of those mistakes that are made when you type too fast and you don’t notice.

Characterization: 8/10

-You didn’t get to know the characters very well, like their past or experiences. It would have been better if you introduced the characters more.

Originality: 9/10

-Though the assassins were a nice touch, it sounded a little typical. I know I said that it was unique and different, but it could have been more. It would be more interesting if you added a twist or something like a “bang!”

Writing style: 8/10

-The paragraphs were a bit too big for me to read (probably because I’m younger). It was very detailed- perhaps too detailed for a one shot. It’s nice to tell a lot, but try to make it more simple. If it’s too formal, it’s more boring to read.

Overall enjoyment: 9/10

Overall score: 80/90

But No R - Susan Lee

Name: Susan Lee
Story Title : But No R
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/suxsan3/
Reviewer: DarkAngel

Title: 5/5

-It was a pretty unique title. At first glance, I wondered what the story was about. Once I finished reading it, I finally understood why you named it what it was.

Poster/Background: 7/10

-The poster and BG were cute, but it was a little boring. The pictures kept repeating and there wasn’t anything very “eye-catching”. It was pretty though.

Forewords: 3/5

-I thought the forewords were a bit short. The little prologue or summary didn’t exactly describe the plot that well, but it gave a little information. The introduction of the characters were a little short and not very informative, but at least you added something about them.

Plot: 13/15

-The story was soothing and relaxing. I guess you can say it was cute. There wasn’t a big “bang” or a lot of excitement in there, so slightly bored me. Other than that, I thought it was good.

Flow: 9/10

-The flow was fine the way it was! The only thing was you didn’t add enough detail to help the reader visualize. It would have been better if you told a bit more.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 12/15

-There were many grammar mistakes in there. You switched from present tense to past tense often. You should change some of the “your” to “you’re”. That was one mistake I found. It would help if you reread what you wrote to make sure you didn’t make some silly mistakes.

Characterization: 8/10

-I can tell the personalities of the characters, but I can’t exactly imagine what happened very well. It wasn’t exactly detailed.

Originality: 9/10

-It was a simple plot, but it was also unique in a way.

Writing style: 8/10

-It looked too spaced out. You should make paragraphs before you indent. The way you write was fine, but paragraphs just make it look more professional. I liked the way you mentioned the thoughts of your characters. It was humorous :)

Overall enjoyment: 9/10

-It was very nice! Good job!

Overall score: 83/100