Our Little Secret by shineeninja

Author: shineeninja
Story Title: Our Little Secret
Story URL: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/21570/our-little-secret-angst-minho-onew-shinee-smut-taemin-you/18
Reviewer: `MiCKEY| lostshadows.co.nr

Title: 4/5
-The title isn’t something very eye-catching nor exciting, but it made a bit curious of what the secret was. It’s a story name I see often so it wasn’t something new.

Poster/Background: 5/10
-Although you didn’t have a background or poster, I liked how you had some pictures on some of the chapters. But the reason why it’s low is because not every chapter had a picture, but I guess it would be hard to find pictures that are related to the chapters. But nether less, it was a good idea to have some pictures.

Forewords: 5/5
-I really liked the foreword you gave. It didn’t give out too much; just the amount of information I needed to know. It was a bit confusing to be reading this in second person POV because I had to continuously keep reading it over and over again but I managed. The description was short, but had many ideas to what the story was going to be about.

Plot: 12/15
-This isn’t a kind of story I would read a lot. It wasn’t really cliché but it seemed rather bland in the beginning. I didn’t get that feeling of wanting to continue reading the story. Although the story hasn’t finished yet, it’s one of those stories where you don’t know the ending to. You don’t really add twists or anything, so it makes it straightforward. I don’t usually read stories that have rated scenes, but that’s because I didn’t know it would have. It is something new, but for now, it’s not as interesting as it could be. I feel like I keep reading the same thing over and over though. Like each chapter reminds me of the chapter before. You do leave a lot of cliffhangers at the end and those are something I absolutely love because that’s what makes me want to continue reading.

Flow: 9/10
-The flow seems to be going fast, but at the same time, slow. While I was reading, I felt like the chapters were going super fast, but because each chapter reminds me of each other, it felt slow. I don’t know if you get what I’m saying.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/15
-As I was reading, I did spot some spelling/grammar errors but the vocabulary overall is perfect!
You seem to add a lot of commas but instead you can just make a compound sentences.
For example:
what you wrote - You scutter around his room, checking to see if you've gathered everything, then realized that the bottom of your body felt bare. You couldn't find your skirt.
My version (this is just a suggestion) – You scurry around his room, checking to see if you’ve gathered everything but then realizing that the bottom of your body felt quite bare. You couldn’t seem to find your skirt.

Characterization: 10/10
-A lot of the characterization was mentioned in the forward but I was able to understand more of their characters throughout the story. For example: how Minho goes from playboy to a sweet boy, or at least tries to. I was able to convey all of their feelings by just reading how they felt and their thoughts.

Originality: 8/10
-The conflict of this story is very cliché. How two partners have sex and then the girl ends up getting pregnant and doesn’t know what to do. But this was my first time reading a story of how the girl is pretty much ‘forced’ to have sex with him and how she obeys everything he says. But the way this story is portrayed seems very unique to me.

Writing style: 10/10
-I absolutely love your writing style. It’s the type of writing I love to read. I like how you make the dialogue easy to read and how the paragraphs are not all stuck together. You made sure to separate the paragraphs apart, to not make it seem like one big blob.

Overall enjoyment: 9/10
-So far, it seems very interesting and I can’t wait to finish the rest of your story. It is a story I’ll continue reading so continue to update!

Overall score: 82/100