Name: Anneka VangKhang
Story Title : Love Can Kill
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Anneka1/
Reviewer: Julianna
Title: 5/5
The title surely fits your story, and it's attractive enough to lure readers in.
Poster/Background: 4/10
You don't have a poster. And the background doesn't really connect to the story. It doesn't create the right mood. Although they said "don't judge the book by its cover", sometimes the cover makes you want to read the book! So please pay more attention to this area next time!
Forewords: 2/5
You don't have a proper forewords. With just character profiles, it's not a forewords. You should write something like a summary introducing your characters. Or may be a short except from your story.
Plot: 10/15
The plot is ok. But it goes quite fast, and doesn't provoke much emotions although it's a sad story. I understand it's a one-shot, still, you can make it one-shot and put enough details in.
Flow: 7/10
As I said above, it goes quite fast. I feel like you rushed through the story.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/10
I found nothing against you in this criteria!
Characterization: 6/10
You did a good job describing the characters and their personalities. Still, I feel like you can add more to it to make the story more emotional and make the readers feel closer to your characters and can sympathize with them more.
Originality: 7/10
This story is not really original. A guy dump a girl for another one who is obviously a *w*itch.
Writing style: 4/5
Your writing style is OK.
Overall enjoyment: 5/10
I can't say I enjoyed reading this story as much as I would love to. Don't let this discourage you though. Keep practicing and you will be great!
Overall score: 60/100
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
Sunday, 7 June 2009
Sad Sonata: Realizing Fantasies by phantom knight
Name: phantom knight
Story Title : Sad Sonata: Realizing Fantasies
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/sad_sonata
Reviewer: aZn_sw3in @ Lostshadows.co.nr
Title: 4.5/5
I like your Title ! It's catchy
Poster/Background: 10/10
Love them <3
Forewords: 3.5 /5
I really liked them but i think there was something missing .
Plot: 15/15
I like your plot ! I've really never seen something like that here before ! ... I was like ... wooha is that really true ?? ... He gave her his number ?? ...but then .. WHAT ??? Such a fantasy !! but i really liked it ... the end was really good ...and emotional
Flow: 7/10
The first part was really to fast @.@ first meeting him .. then the next moment Marriage ?
Spelling/Grammer/Vocabulary: 10/10
I Don't think i've seen mistakes . Good Job =)
Characterization: 10/10
I loved the way you described them !
Orginality: 10/10
like i said before never seen some story like that before.
Writing style: 4/5
It's okay and really neat but i don't know there was something that i didn't liked at all but it isn't that important
Overall enjoyment: 8/10
I really enjoyed your story ^___^
And because there was Donghae in the story and Your Poster & BG is from Lostshadows <3
Overall score: 82/100
Story Title : Sad Sonata: Realizing Fantasies
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/sad_sonata
Reviewer: aZn_sw3in @ Lostshadows.co.nr
Title: 4.5/5
I like your Title ! It's catchy
Poster/Background: 10/10
Love them <3
Forewords: 3.5 /5
I really liked them but i think there was something missing .
Plot: 15/15
I like your plot ! I've really never seen something like that here before ! ... I was like ... wooha is that really true ?? ... He gave her his number ?? ...but then .. WHAT ??? Such a fantasy !! but i really liked it ... the end was really good ...and emotional
Flow: 7/10
The first part was really to fast @.@ first meeting him .. then the next moment Marriage ?
Spelling/Grammer/Vocabulary: 10/10
I Don't think i've seen mistakes . Good Job =)
Characterization: 10/10
I loved the way you described them !
Orginality: 10/10
like i said before never seen some story like that before.
Writing style: 4/5
It's okay and really neat but i don't know there was something that i didn't liked at all but it isn't that important
Overall enjoyment: 8/10
I really enjoyed your story ^___^
And because there was Donghae in the story and Your Poster & BG is from Lostshadows <3
Overall score: 82/100
Friday, 5 June 2009
On And On by Mickey
Name: Mickey
Story Title : On And On
Story URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/oneandon
Reviewer: azn_sw3in
Title: 1/5
I think the title is uncatchy and what does it have to do with your story ?
Poster/Background: 9/10
I like the poster and the background ^___^
Forewords: 5/5
I totally Love the forewords =) ! Good Job !!
Plot: 10/15
I liked your plot =) but there were some boring actions ...
Flow: 10/10
Your flow was PERFECT ! It wasn't too fast and it wasn't too slow . Keep up the good work
Spelling/Grammer/Vocabulary: 9/10
You just did some little mistakes and your English is quite good . =)
Characterization: 10/10
It was perfect ^^ . You showed their character's really good !
Orginality: 8/10
Some parts i've see around here quite often and the ending wasn't that special but good job =)
Writing style: 5/5
I loved your writing style it's neat and neat ! xD
Keep up that writing style =)
Overall enjoyment: 8/10
I quite enjoyed the story but i found it ab it boring . .. in my opinion but i loved the characters =)
Overall score: 75/100
Story Title : On And On
Story URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/oneandon
Reviewer: azn_sw3in
Title: 1/5
I think the title is uncatchy and what does it have to do with your story ?
Poster/Background: 9/10
I like the poster and the background ^___^
Forewords: 5/5
I totally Love the forewords =) ! Good Job !!
Plot: 10/15
I liked your plot =) but there were some boring actions ...
Flow: 10/10
Your flow was PERFECT ! It wasn't too fast and it wasn't too slow . Keep up the good work
Spelling/Grammer/Vocabulary: 9/10
You just did some little mistakes and your English is quite good . =)
Characterization: 10/10
It was perfect ^^ . You showed their character's really good !
Orginality: 8/10
Some parts i've see around here quite often and the ending wasn't that special but good job =)
Writing style: 5/5
I loved your writing style it's neat and neat ! xD
Keep up that writing style =)
Overall enjoyment: 8/10
I quite enjoyed the story but i found it ab it boring . .. in my opinion but i loved the characters =)
Overall score: 75/100
Monday, 1 June 2009
The In-Laws Reversed by Jackie/ Linn
Story Title: The In-Laws Reversed
URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/In_Laws/
Author: Jackie/ Linn
Reviewed by: Moon Mistress @ Lost Shadows
Title 3/5
I get what you mean, but the “reversed” part isn’t really strong the way I see it. I mean what you meant was that Liza isn’t the typical mother-in-law but perhaps it would have been better if you showed some sort of fight or struggle from Bosco’s family. Next, the problems and obstacles that the couples face in your fan fiction tend to be due to outside forces and third-parties rather than the families…
Poster/Background: 6/10
Your poster consisted of all the major characters in your story and there were also a quote to follow the poster. However, I did not really like the color of the poster as it was rather bright and this makes it rather hard to read… as in it doesn’t really give a ‘comfortable’ atmosphere? Also the font color at your front page is rather difficult to read as it clashes with the background.
Forewords: 3/5
I didn’t really get a good idea on the whole story… as in I knew that it would be about something between the two and Liza, but somehow, the forwards seem to be lacking a little… little originality? I mean it was lacking the x-factor that would make me think, “oh, I want to know what is going to happen next!” But I guess I got a general scoop on the whole thing, so great job there! =D
Plot: 12/15
It went quite well, no big problems. Rather smooth. Realistic, but the storyline is a little… oh and one thing to note, it is actually a common error that many writers make. Okay remember the chapter where Myolie and Bosco were on their honeymoon? You wrote that she wanted a cup of mike because she felt nauseas and I guess what you wanted to show was that she was pregnant, right? But the thing is most mothers take some time before they start having morning sickness… thus, it would be rather impossible for her to have morning sickness just one day after…
Flow: 7.5/10
I’ve got no problems in that area, but I felt that things were moving a little slowly in the beginning, just a little. But things began to pick up again soon. =D
Spelling/Grammer/Vocabulary: 7/10
An occasional error here and there (For example. plane and plain) but I could see the effort to use descriptive words. Overall, it was quite easy and smooth to read but then of course you could have used stronger words. For example, you could have said “crimson” instead of “red”. =D Oh yes, you might want to pay a little more attention to your capitalization…
Characterization: 6.5/10
The characters had some sort of personality to them, but I believed that you could have developed that a little more. For example, you said that Bosco was a playboy in the forewords; however, you did not really show his playboy personality. I mean you did say WHY he was a playboy, but you didn’t show HOW. I don’t expect you to invest 2 chapters on that, but you could have tried to add a sentence or two occasionally in chapters. This would actually have seem more natural. =D
Orginality: 7/10
There are areas that makes your story strike out from the others but then again, it wasn’t, “Gosh! I totally didn’t expect that!” enough… but good try! =D
Writing style: 3/5
I would say that it is rather average… as in I don’t really see anything especially unique about it… However, there is no major problem in writing that way. However, I am a rather greedy person so I guess I will always look and expect for more. =D
Overall enjoyment: 7 /10
I am cool with it… but somehow, I got a little bored towards the middle… perhaps it was because I was doing mass reading... but good try! You are coming to the end of the story right? So all the best in this and your future works!
Overall score: 62/100
Hope you aren’t disappointed with this score because I would say that I am a rather stingy reviewer and I want to leave you with room for improvement. Finally, I believe that the numbers don’t really matter and it is the comments that do. =D Good Luck to the both of you! =D
URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/In_Laws/
Author: Jackie/ Linn
Reviewed by: Moon Mistress @ Lost Shadows
Title 3/5
I get what you mean, but the “reversed” part isn’t really strong the way I see it. I mean what you meant was that Liza isn’t the typical mother-in-law but perhaps it would have been better if you showed some sort of fight or struggle from Bosco’s family. Next, the problems and obstacles that the couples face in your fan fiction tend to be due to outside forces and third-parties rather than the families…
Poster/Background: 6/10
Your poster consisted of all the major characters in your story and there were also a quote to follow the poster. However, I did not really like the color of the poster as it was rather bright and this makes it rather hard to read… as in it doesn’t really give a ‘comfortable’ atmosphere? Also the font color at your front page is rather difficult to read as it clashes with the background.
Forewords: 3/5
I didn’t really get a good idea on the whole story… as in I knew that it would be about something between the two and Liza, but somehow, the forwards seem to be lacking a little… little originality? I mean it was lacking the x-factor that would make me think, “oh, I want to know what is going to happen next!” But I guess I got a general scoop on the whole thing, so great job there! =D
Plot: 12/15
It went quite well, no big problems. Rather smooth. Realistic, but the storyline is a little… oh and one thing to note, it is actually a common error that many writers make. Okay remember the chapter where Myolie and Bosco were on their honeymoon? You wrote that she wanted a cup of mike because she felt nauseas and I guess what you wanted to show was that she was pregnant, right? But the thing is most mothers take some time before they start having morning sickness… thus, it would be rather impossible for her to have morning sickness just one day after…
Flow: 7.5/10
I’ve got no problems in that area, but I felt that things were moving a little slowly in the beginning, just a little. But things began to pick up again soon. =D
Spelling/Grammer/Vocabulary: 7/10
An occasional error here and there (For example. plane and plain) but I could see the effort to use descriptive words. Overall, it was quite easy and smooth to read but then of course you could have used stronger words. For example, you could have said “crimson” instead of “red”. =D Oh yes, you might want to pay a little more attention to your capitalization…
Characterization: 6.5/10
The characters had some sort of personality to them, but I believed that you could have developed that a little more. For example, you said that Bosco was a playboy in the forewords; however, you did not really show his playboy personality. I mean you did say WHY he was a playboy, but you didn’t show HOW. I don’t expect you to invest 2 chapters on that, but you could have tried to add a sentence or two occasionally in chapters. This would actually have seem more natural. =D
Orginality: 7/10
There are areas that makes your story strike out from the others but then again, it wasn’t, “Gosh! I totally didn’t expect that!” enough… but good try! =D
Writing style: 3/5
I would say that it is rather average… as in I don’t really see anything especially unique about it… However, there is no major problem in writing that way. However, I am a rather greedy person so I guess I will always look and expect for more. =D
Overall enjoyment: 7 /10
I am cool with it… but somehow, I got a little bored towards the middle… perhaps it was because I was doing mass reading... but good try! You are coming to the end of the story right? So all the best in this and your future works!
Overall score: 62/100
Hope you aren’t disappointed with this score because I would say that I am a rather stingy reviewer and I want to leave you with room for improvement. Finally, I believe that the numbers don’t really matter and it is the comments that do. =D Good Luck to the both of you! =D
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