Eye of Raven by Pararae

Title: Eye of Raven
Author: Pararae
Story URL: http://crowingraven.blogspot.com/2010/01/eye-of-raven.html
Reviewed by: jjwyl@lostshadows.co.nr
Note: This is the first story that I’ve reviewed that is not on winglin. Sorry if it took a bit long.


Title: 3/5

Your title wasn’t very rare but it definitely reminded me of the movie Eagle-Eye. That was a good movie. In my opinion, you should have made the font of your title bigger so the readers could see. I actually had a hard time trying to look for the title because all the letters are the same color and same size.

Poster/Background: -4/10
Because you don’t have a official poster and background, I can’t give you such a high mark. But at least your background didn’t have anything affecting the reader’s attention and also, you have a nice picture at the top of the page, I thought it looked nice.

Forewords: 5/5
Your foreword/prologue is very attracting. It hooked me right from the start and till the very end. Your foreword is neat, readable, and very organized. It also made me wonder what the actual story may be about.

Plot: 13/15
Your plot seems to be really well thought out. You knew what you were writing and you knew what would be put down. A plot like yours definitely did not waste my time.

Flow: 8/10
The flow wasn’t bad, it was quite well. It’s just that I thought the ending seemed a bit rushed. It’s alright to have the ending rushed because a lot of stories out there have a rushed ending.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 14/15

Your spelling and grammar are great. I couldn’t spot a mistake in your story. I felt that your story was really well done because your spelling and grammar are at a level where errors cannot be found and does not distract the human eye. I love reading stories that has no spelling/grammar mistakes because that’s what makes it seem professional. I hate reading stories that have mistakes all the time. It feels like I’m wasting my time reading it. The only thing I would suggest is using a wider range of vocabulary.


Characterization: 8/10
You described Raven’s feelings and her surroundings very detailed. You were able to describe most of the scenes nicely because I could actually picture it in my head. I was able to absorb your descriptions and form a picture. But because there were quite a few characters, I couldn’t picture all of them or tell what kind of personality they each had.

Originality: 8.5/10
You were original to have your story on your blog instead of the fanfiction site. But that would mean less people to view your story. Overall, I thought your story had a lot of creativity in it and some parts were unpredictable, but it’s kind of common to have a girl as the person who took on dangerous missions.


Writing style: 7.5/10

I have to say that the way you wrote things looked great and neat, but I didn’t like how some sentences were so short, just a couple words. I also think that you should put the speaker’s name after every sentence they say, just so it doesn’t get confusing. Also, I thought your story was too long, a bit too long for me. If it’s a one-shot, it should be a bit shorter.



Overall enjoyment: 8/10

Overall score: 78/100