Last Message by RyeoNa Park

Story Title : Last Message
URL : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/PRNmessage/
Author : RyeoNa Park
Reviewed by : SueWey @ Lost Shadows

Title: 3/5
Your title’s simple yet it relates to your story very well but I had to deduct marks because it wasn’t THAT catchy enough to actually grab my attention. I’m sure that there’s a more catchy title plus even though it suits your story very well, but it has already reveal a lot about your story, making it predictable.

Poster/Background: 7/10
Give a round of applause for yourself for making both the poster and background for yourself. I salute authors who could make these for their own story ( even though I, myself requests for these myself. Bleh! ). I would give you full marks but I have to stay my job as a reviewer.
Your selection for the pictures were perfect, it did show that the story’s going to be depressing but your choice of colors didn’t really reflect your story. Try using some dark or dull colors to help reflect your story since it’s not one of those happy endings. And if possible, change the color of your font to another dark color other than black. Because I have difficulty reading ( or maybe I just need specs lol! ) some parts of your story where the background had dark colors.

Forewords: 2/5
I noticed that there were two forewords… and… I didn’t know if I should review both or what ( lolwtf! ). So, I settled down to review your first one ( ^^v ).
Your foreword is tremendously short, truthfully. You could have maybe put a short introduction or a short paragraph extracted from the story ( but of course, without revealing too much of your plot ) instead of this way. Not that there’s anything wrong with your forewords now but I’m sure it could have been better. I still gave you marks cause at least you put something up.

Plot: 12/15
It was short and simple yet it was enjoyable. I loved how you describe your settings and SooYoung’s perspective though I would love to see more about both Sungmin and SooYoung. Sadly, I sort of already knew how your story would go from just seeing your title.

Flow: 10/10
I’ve nothing to say here, really. It was all going perfectly well for a one-short. Give another round of applause to yourself.

Spelling/Grammer/Vocabulary: 9/10
And again, another round of applause for yourself cause I did not spot any spelling mistakes in the story. Not everyone can avoid that, ya know ( *wags eyebrows* ). Vocabulary was above average ( *nods* ).
But, I do spot some gammar mistakes, no worries, they’re not major mistakes. But I guess I do not have to write it down again, since I see that Sung.ii.ee already gave out the examples for me.

Characterization: 4/10
I believe that you could’ve done way better since you have such lovely vocabulary. Even though I did mentioned that you have describe SooYoung’s perspective quite well but I still do not know much about her other than that she loved Sungmin dearly. Same goes to Sungmin. All I know is that he wasn’t his usual self which is what(?) other than his cheerful self. Even though that this is just a one shot but I would still want to see who they are. Not just she loves him and he loves her, the end.

Orginality: 7/10
Even though I did say that your story’s enjoyable to read but that’s because it’s the way how you wrote it out that made it look like it was original. But truthfully and sadly, I’ve seen plots like this a couple of times.

Writing style: 5/5
I simply love your writing style. It was neat, understandable and detailed. Nice.

Overall enjoyment: 6/10
I gotta admit that I enjoyed reading your story cause of your writing style. Yet, I didn’t give you full marks was because I already knew how your storyline would turn out like so it wasn’t that much fun or like a surprise ( roflwtf! Teehee ).

Overall score: 65/100

Yo. I’m sorry for taking a super duper long time to review your one shot! *blush blush* I felt so ashamed~~ I was busy with my school life and all that I didn’t really have the time to go online and check on my inbox for requests~ *bows down apologectically*. Anyway, I hope that you’re satisfied with my review and please don’t get discourage by the marks given to you. Afterall, they’re just numbers! It’s the comments that will help you improve, right right? Teehee ^^v