Fragments by Maia

Title: Fragments
Author: Maia
Story URL: www.winglin.net/fanfic/fragments
Reviewed by jjwyl@lostshadows.co.nr
Note: Great job!


Title: 4/5

It wasn’t the first thing that caught my eye. But I like that it’s simple and one-worded. I also really liked how it matched up with the story itself.

Poster/Background: 9/10
Great poster and background. I really like how the theme of the poster is more on the white side. It really gives us a happier, merrier feeling. And, she pictures are just great!

Forewords: 4/5
I was very captivated in your foreword. You definitely have a talent in writing forewords. I was really attached to it the entire time and it made me want to continue the story. For me, forewords are very important for me when I’m looking for a story to read. If the foreword’s boring, I stop reading and continue on to the next story.

Plot: 13/15
I think the plot is quite nice. It’s not common yet not rare. It’s just that I don’t know quite where you’re trying to take the readers. But I guess it’s because


Flow: 8/10

Your timing was quite well. But I’m still waiting for the ending. It’s just that I thought the beginning was a bit rushed. Everything else seemed quite good.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 13/15

I didn’t find a lot of mistakes, just a couple grammar and spelling mistakes. But I’m really impressed that you used a wide range of vocabulary for this story. There were some words that I didn’t even know. I had to end up using the dictionary for it. But good work nonetheless!

Characterization: 7/10

I couldn’t really see what kind of characters they were. But because of your foreword, I was still able to learn about them.


Originality: 8/10
It’s nice. I think I knew where you were going. You did a good job with this category.


Writing style: 8/10
I really like your style of writing. But I would recommend one thing to you. Try to put your sentences together to form a paragraph instead. It would look a lot more neat and professional.

Overall enjoyment: 6/10


Overall score: 80/100