Accidental Love by Jian You

Title: Accidental Love
Author: Jian You
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/chinyy/
Reviewed by: hanichan32319 @ Lost Shadows

Title: 3/5
It’s not particularly eye-catching, but it does stir some interest. I was kind of like, “How can love be accidental? Shouldn’t it be fate?” Yeah, I’m a dork. Leave me alone. ^^

Poster/Background: 7/10
Okay, the poster was awesome. Literally awesome. The background left me dizzy. It doesn’t even match the poster’s color schemes! It was the designer’s…fault? I don’t want to say that, but as an artist, she should have realized that those colors really just don’t work together. They clash horribly. So, it’s not your fault, but I still got to dock you.

Forewords: 5/5
It was structured the way forewords should be structured. Excellent, most excellent!

Plot: 14/15
Aww, a EunHae story! I don’t read too many of them because most are the same: they are in love, things go sour for a bit, but then they don’t, blah, blah, blah…for some reason, your story seemed different than the others. I liked how you portrayed Donghae’s conflict with his father. Maybe it was the alternate endings…and just so you know, you did make me tear up a little when Donghae died.

Complete 180: Your rated scene wasn’t as rated as I thought it was going to be. I was all pumped and all, “Yeah! Yaoi! Gotta get in the mood!” and then I read the scene, and this huge “Awwwww!” came out of my system.

Flow: 10/10
Great. Nothing wrong here. (Argh, my computer keeps wanting to put “Wong” instead of “wrong”!)

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 12/15
No one’s perfect with spelling, although I didn’t find too many mistakes in your story. What I didn’t see was a lot of attention to detail. Extend your vocabulary! Now I’m not saying to pick up a dictionary and read it, because that would be stupid and pointless. Who reads the dictionary for FUN? Just put in more vibrant imagery words instead of using the same ones over and over again.

Also, when you write rated scenes, NEVER use “cum.” Believe me. I’ve written many a love scene, and that word is a serious last resort. Why? A) it’s so childish and immature, and b) using it makes you seem like a newb. Use more mature words, such as “orgasm” or “climaxed” and the occasional “come” or “came.” The three-lettered word is used by amateurs, and sweetheart you are no amateur.

Characterization: 8/10
Eh, they weren’t really anything special, in my opinion.

Originality: 9/10
The shooting scene was definitely original. ^^ (Should I use a happy face after that?) I haven’t read its equivalent.

Writing style: 8/10
Not many people feel comfortable using present tense, but you pulled it off. I just didn’t like the switching of POVs. It didn’t confuse me; I just have this huge dislike for it. Other than that, you did a great job!

Overall enjoyment: 9/10
You made me cry. Feel special, because I hardly ever cry. I cried at some points in Chasing Taboo, I cried while reading the seventh Harry Potter book, and I cried during this story. It really touched me. You are an awesome writer, and if you ever need a review again for another of your stories, request at Lost Shadows! I’m out!

Overall score: 85/100