A wonderful Childhood by morning_glory

Story Title: A wonderful Childhood
Story Author: morning_glory
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/morning_glory1/
Reviewer: Darkess

*My reviews are not meant to harm or discourage the author, but to help them fix their stories and do better in the future. The opinions expressed in this review are mine and mine alone, and are not meant to offend you*


Title: 3/5

It fits the story, but it isn't very... catchy unfortunately.

Poster/Background: 10/10

really cute! I love the brightness, and the amazing yellow. Also, the purple text was a perfect complementary contrast ^^

Forewords: /

Can't grade you on this since there... isn't really a forewords o.o

Plot: 8/15

Was super short and pretty straightforeward, but I thought that the little kid friendship turning into first love was really cute.

Flow: 10/10

It all seemed to happen in good time to me ^^

Spelling/Grammer/Vocabulary: 13/15

You have a lot of unnescessary commas in almost every sentence. Unless you're listing something or linking two sentences, you don't really need a comma. There are some exceptions, but you didn't really have too many in this story.

Characterization: 4/10

I love the character choices, but they lacked detail and you didn't really build into them that much. If they would have fallen off a cliff I don't think that any of the readers would have really cared that much. There needed to be more to their personalities.

Orginality: 6/10

What do the F and L stand for on the necklaces? First and Love? OH. (has now read the second part) but in the first part you said that they were F and L, and in the second you said L and R... which is it? either way, the other half of the necklace thing was really cute and romantic and all, but not that unique. I have seen the concept many times. Same with the meeting your old first love/ childhood friend again after many years.

Writing style: 7/10

You lack detail in many areas in your writing... besides the necklace there was relatively none. Though your writing style is easy to understand.

Overall enjoyment: 5/10

This was kind of boring to me. I didn't really see a point in it except to say that true love is forever. But besides that the whole story seemed like... idunno just seemed like a bedtime tale that no one really remembers because they're half asleep when they hear it, rather than a detailed and exciting story. I would have loved if there was more to the story, and more memorable scenes between the two.

Overall score: 63/90