The Perfect You - tubbyGENx3

Story Title : The Perfect You

Author : tubbyGENx3

Story Link : http://winglin.net/fanfic/_bigBANGlovex3/

Reviewd by jyyms

Title: 5/5

Your title fits your story well, especially the second last chapter.

Poster/Background: 8/10

I didn't give you full marks because I think the mood of the story and the color didn't match very well. I think the color should be lighter, rather than being black since the story isn't that sad.

Forewords: 5/5

A perfect forewords, not too long and not short. The poem was interesting and a good start for the story. It tells the reader what the main character will be going through.

Plot: 13/15

The plot is very unique with an interesting love story, although I find it a bit weird that it was a Yoona and G-Dragon pairing, but that is just my opinion. I liked it how it was a simple love story but I suggest you elaborate more on the times Yoona and G-Dragon spent together. Because the relationship is a bit too sudden in my point of view. And the end is very beautiful, good job on that!

Flow: 9/10

The flow was right for most of the parts. There were just a few times where it was a bit confusing between what was happening in Seoul and the countryside G-Dragon was at.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/15

There were some spelling mistakes I noticed in your story. And I want to ask why you didn't put full stops at the end of your sentences in the first few chapters of the story. And I spotted several grammatical errors and here is an example.

Instead of this..

“Where’s your boyfriend gone?” I asked when I realised that he was gone

It should be..

"Where did your boyfriend go?"

Characterization: 8/10

G-Dragon is a very round character in this story. So is Yoona, but I feel that her personailty changes from time to time. Once, she is very shy and the next, she calls G-Dragon 'baby' and etc. Maybe it was how you wanted Yoona's character to be but I find it confusing on the connection between her actions and her personality.

Originality: 10/10

I would have to say that your story is very original although some of the ideas can be found in other stories. The events that happened throughout the story seems original and realistic so great job on that!

Writing style: 9/10

Your writing style was easy for me to read and not confusing for most of the time. Your writing is very poetic when it comes to the *speeches* Ji Young and Yoona gives to each other. They were very sweet but just a tiny bit cheesy.

Overall enjoyment: 6/10

I don't know if you remember me but I was one of your readers for "The Boy Whole Stole My Heart". My name was "JJ" and I finished your story in one day. It was a great one. But this, from the start, I didn't like the characters. I tried to be not biased and read this story. And I didn't like the way GD and Yoona were coupled. This is just my opinion for this story. :) I swear if it was one of DBSK, I would have enjoyed it with this kind of storyline much better.

Overall score: 83/100

Great Job dear! Hwaiting on your future stories.