The End by UnknownViet

Name: UnknownViet
Story Title : The End
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/end
Reviewer: DarkAngel

Title: 5/5

-The end. It’s simple, but yet it tells pretty much your whole story. I love it! I don’t see this title much, but it really suits your story.


Poster/Background: 8/10

-Your poster and background was kind of plain, but it was really cute. Font is really easy to read, and I love the colors for your poster and background, although I think it’s a little too much.


Forewords: 3/5

-Well, your foreword had a little introduction to the story, but it seemed kind of “little”, if you know what I mean. Your foreword was ok. You should have added a little more to it, like the characters. Otherwise, it’s ok………


Plot: 11/15

-I like the plot, but it was kind of too obvious, if you know what I mean. It’s hard to explain, but it’s like I can tell what’s happening or going to happen next. I like the plot, but it’s kind of boring if you don’t put anything else interesting in it though I love the flashback ^^


Flow: 8/10

-Well, in some places, it was a choppy. I felt that it kind of went to fast and the story was short, so it didn’t really mix together really good.


Spelling/Grammer/Vocabulary: 11/15

-I saw some errors in this category. They were mostly spelling mistakes. You mistake some words and spelling it wrong. In the beginning when you wrote “The sun is shining, the atmosphere is extremely warm”, it should be the atmosphere was extremely warm because you were using past tense. That’s just one mistake though.


Characterization: 8/10

-OK, so she broke up with him. You told us why, but I didn’t feel much emotion in it. You could have told more about how the characters felt during the fights and after. You should have explained more about it.


Orginality: 8/10

-Well there were stories out there that are similar to this one, but they have more detail. I guess they’re supposed to because this is actually a one-shot, but you could have put more interesting things in it. The flashback was something that I don’t see much in other stories.


Writing style: 7/10

-You should have put more paragraphs in your story. Most of it was all scrunched up in one paragraph when it’s supposed to be spaced out apart. I also don’t really like how you don’t really communicate with the readers.


Overall enjoyment: 8/10

-I enjoyed it, but there some things that I didn’t like in there. I’m not going to tell you what, but I’m just saying that you should put some more effort into your stories.


Overall score: 77/100