If I can see again by SueWey

If I can see again by SueWey
http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/suewey3/
Reviewed by jwyl

Title: 4/5

I thought the title was quite interesting. Before I received this request, I had already clicked on this title because it attracted me.


Poster/Background: 8/10

I think the poster and background matched the story line quite well. Just glancing at the poster already gave me a feel of the story. I could already tell that the atmosphere wasn’t so positive. And the colors are not distracting.


Forewords: 3/5

I thought the forward was a bit common. Just reading it made me think of Korean dramas. But it was attracting, the way you wrote it out. But I also took a point off because you separated the foreword into two parts, which I didn’t totally get. But you were able to explain what will be happening in the story without giving all the information.


Plot: 12/15

To be honest, the plot was well thought out, but it’s just the fact that I’ve seen this kind of plot dozens of times. I’ve seen it in other stories, books, and dramas.


Flow: 7/10

The flow of the story was quite good. But it’s just the end that I thought things were taken a bit too quickly. I mean, she could have taken some time to maybe heal up her eyes and let Junsu take care of her for just a bit longer, just let them have a bit more time together would be nice. And the ending wasn’t what I expected. Their relationship ended too abruptly. They got in a fight in the hospital, Junsu sends her a letter, and that’s it. It just ends at that. It doesn’t say what happens after she receives the letter.


Spelling/Grammer/Vocabulary: 9/10

I hardly spotted any mistakes. But I thought that there were some words/sentences that could be used differently.


Characterization: 9/10

I could feel their love and hate for each other throughout the story. I could really tell that Junsu really loved LiYin. And I could tell how much LiYin wanted to see the world.


Orginality: 8/10

I’ve seen a lot of stories that has one person end up sacrificing themselves for the other person. But other than that, it was alright.


Writing style: 4/5

I like your style of writing. But next time, try to connect the sentences together to be able to form into a paragraph. You could have little sentences by itself once in a while, but it would look better if you had them in groups of three or more sentences.


Overall enjoyment: 9/10

I really enjoyed it. But it was so sad how Junsu gave LiYin his own eyes so that she could see the world again. But reading the ending got me a bit mad, because LiYin broke her promise to Junsu. I actually thought that they were going to be able to get married in the end after LiYin was able to see again. The ending was a bit unexpected for me.


Overall score: 83/100



I hope you like your overall score. I thought that it was a well written one-shot. I was really interested in it. But then again, there’s bound to be flaws in everything right? But overall, GREAT JOB!