The Mask Clique - AnGeL-DeViL

Name: AnGeL-DeViL
Story Title : The Mask Clique
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/dragon/
Reviewer: aZn_sw3in @ lostshadows.co.nr


Title: 4/5
the title quite matched the plot . If i scroll down on winglin and see the title i would actually click at it because it sounds interesting . !

Poster/Background: -/10
You don't have a poster or a background .


Forewords: 4/5
Your forewords are good . I liked that you wrote down a little of the plot there but you could describe the characters more . ^^

Plot: 15/15
I like it . It's really interesting that the girls are magic creatures and have to hide their identity .
But then they fall in Love with their enemies (i think) .

Flow: 9/10
It was a bit rushed here and there but it isn't that dramatic .

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 6/10
Sometimes you use the wrong tense .

ex :
We get kill

it must be we get killed .
.
One day 5 normal hot boys comes to their school but don’t really look normal.

Correction :

One day 5 normal hot boys come to their school but don't really look normal .

There is no 'S' because hot boys are plural and you only add 's' when it is he/she/it (third person).

And some times the verb conjugation is wrong .

ex :

???: Guys wanna know what? okay never mind that question THERE'S 5 new boys at our school! and guess what?! they're HOT!!!


Correction :
Guys wanna know what ? Okay don't mind (is a bit better) that question THERE ARE five new boys at our school ! and guess what ?1 they're HOT !!!

And sometimes you have vocabulary mistakes :


Ri-Ahn: This is American and we speak English not Korean





It's supposed to be




This is America and we speak English not Korean ..




That are just some examples .
Your English is okay i think people will understand what you mean .

Characterization: 8/10
I can see the personality quite good of some girls . You could describe their feelings and actions more .

Originality: 9/10
I saw some similar plot before but this is a bit different from the others . Good job !

Writing style: 4/5
It's quite neat but sometimes it's confusing . Sometimes i don't know who is thinking at the moment .

Overall enjoyment: 9/10
I quite enjoyed the chapters that were there . I'm a DBSK fan so i enjoyed it .

Overall score: 68/100

Warning : I have nothing against the author . I have to say this . I just a strict and honest reviewer