Love Equilibrium - Naire Perplexity

Story Title: Love Equilibrium
Author: Naire Perplexity
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/9naire10_4
Reviewed by: hanichan32319
*If I sound harsh, I am terribly sorry. I am a very critical reviewer and I only want you, the writer, to understand the good, the bad, and the ugly.*

Title: 4/5
The title is eye-catching. Not many authors use such words. Plus, in a way, you pulled a sort of literary trick, because love stories are usually chaotic, yet you balanced it (no pun intended) with that word. It shows you have an extensive vocabulary. Nice!

Poster/Background: 8/10
I like the way the poster is laid out, but grey is so…dull and boring. Maybe a very light pink or white even would have been true with the story. Other than the color scheme, the words are easy to read.

Forewords: 2/5
You practically summarized the plot here! I don’t mean to sound harsh, but when you write the forewords, you want to give little hints as to what your story is about.

Also, you could have included a cast of characters. Never assume the readers already know who your characters are. Introduce them a little bit.

Plot: 13/15
You did a wonderful job with detail and such, but there was room for more dialogue between the characters. You have creativity, and I don’t want that to go to waste!

Flow: 9/10
The flow was pretty good. Some parts went too slow for my taste, whereas others had me going, “Wait, what? Backtrack!”

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 13/15
You made a few mistakes, but it didn’t hinder my reading. Just watch your tenses and spelling. The words you chose to describe things gets you points. Like I said before, you have a big vocabulary that consists of more than the basics. Excellent, my friend. Excellent. =]

Characterization: 8/10
As I said above, you should have described the characters more. New readers who have no idea who ChunElla is may be very confused until you describe them. And any fictional characters you may introduce in your story need clarification, as well. Their personalities were one-of-a-kind, but a better background story would have helped.

Originality: 7/10
Although it included some original parts, I have read quite a few stories about best friends falling in love. Your story was very common. But it was still very creative all the same.

Writing style: 9/10
Your writing style was perfect, though it could use a little humor here and there. ^^

Overall enjoyment: 7/10
This was a well-written story, but there were some parts that had me drumming my fingers on the desk with impatience. A lot of your plot was easily predictable, and I could guess on where half the story was headed. But, you still did a good job, and it was my first time reading about Taiwanese stars. I started out thinking, “Who the heck are these people?” but now I kind of have a sense.

Total: 80/100

(Sorry for the extremely late review! I went on hiatus!!! SORRY!)