The Edge of Sanity by Jian You

Title: The Edge of Sanity
Author: Jian You
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/jianyou2/
Reviewed by: ShadowYin | lostshadows.co.nr
SYNote: I'm so sorry about your long wait. *bows*

Title: 5/5
I like it. It’s unique. Matched the fanfic really well, which actually surprised me…somehow.

Poster/Background: 7/10
One of the creepiest posters around. The background was a bit distracting in my opinion, it really made it difficult to read. The poster really prepared the readers for what was going to happen. But yes, the poster contained quite a few elements? It looked creepy, but the images look a bit too depressing? Think the poster should be darker since this is one of the ‘darkest’ stories I’ve read.

Forewords: 2.5/5
Not that great. Gave a really cliché impression to the fanfic. Didn’t like how you listed about the traits of the characters, and since there aren't so many things about them, why didn’t you just put it in sentences?
If I read that, I wouldn’t want to read on, sorry.

Plot: 15/15
Loved it! Really shocked me.

Flow: 8/10
Your flow worked perfectly since the character was obviously insane. However at the part where you wrote:
He kicks the dirt off his shoes onto the mat. He throws off his trench coat and tosses it on the hook. He sets his briefcase down softly.

I didn’t think the listing of sentences were effective. I think you should’ve just described things normally in a few sections just to show your versatility in writing. Although I can see that short sentences worked perfectly in the characterization of the ‘you’ character.


Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 11/15
Lots of minor mistakes.

You wrote:
her's (should be HERS)

You wrote:
…louder and louder each syllable (I think you meant ‘louder and louder AFTER each syllable’.)

You wrote:
The mock (THEY mock)

You wrote:
…blue throw pillow (‘blue pillow’ would do.)

You wrote:
…feeling seven swipe (…feeling with seven wipes…)

You wrote:
Is is my birthday (Is IT my birthday)

You wrote:
…but not enough to the point the become unconscious… (…but not enough to the point THEY become unconscious)


Characterization: 10/10
Speechless. Your characterization was brilliant.

Originality: 10/10
Original, I say no more. It’s often that we hear stories about the insane people and murderers. However, you’ve really explored into the mind of the insane, I’m really impressed.

Writing style: 7/10
I didn’t like it as much. Since it was written in ‘you’ format, it was like everything was a command. Like…’you do this do that’.

I would’ve personally have preferred it if you wrote it in the past tense and in first person instead.

Overall enjoyment: 7.5/10
You blew me away with your originality.

Overall score: 83/100