When Two Different Worlds Collide by arlean19

Author: arlean19
Story Title : When Two Different Worlds Collide
Story URL: www.winglin.net/fanfic/arlean19
Reviewer: mg6991

Title: 3/5

-Your title was good, but I really didn’t see its connection to your plot.

Poster/Background: 6/10

-Your poster wasn’t really good, no offense but I rather see you use another picture.

Forewords: 3/5

-Your Forewords was alright, but it’s like your already telling them what’s going to happen. It’s not like that. The Forewords section is used to write a short summary of the story and of your characters. You really shouldn’t tell them what’s going to happen.

Plot: 10/15

-Your plot was very simple and very common. I’ve seen many plots like this.

Flow: 6/10

- I really couldn’t understand your flow. Your events in one chapter are going too fast. You should describe those certain events more. I was always left hanging after an event had happened.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 13/15

-You’re using too much “…” or “!!” or “??”. Only one of these can be used to express a certain feeling.

Characterization: 8/10

-You described the main characters well enough even though the others weren’t.

Originality: 5/10

-Just like what I said in the plot section, it was too common.

Writing style: 8/10

-You started the contents of your chapters to be very short. And then it suddenly became long. You should really maintain only one length on how long or short it should be.

Overall enjoyment: 6/10

-I really didn’t enjoy it much. Sorry!

Overall score: 68/100