behind my wall by yunjaeforever

Title: behind my wall
Author: yunjaeforever
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/yunjaeforever/
Reviewed by: jjwyl@lostshadows.co.nr
Note: sorry if it took too long, and I hope you understand that this review is an honest work that is just trying to help you improve. I tried giving you as good as a mark I could. Sorry if you don’t like your mark.


Title: 2.5/5
The title seems really dull and plain and doesn’t really tell much about the story. It looks a bit messy because the words aren’t capitalized.


Poster/Background: 1/10
There is no background and no poster whatsoever. It really makes a story look boring and dull. If I were to click on this story and just by looking at the appearance, I would just go right into the next story and not read yours. Appearance is important.

Forewords: 2/5
Your foreword is very messy and not well organized. This would not grasp a reader’s attention. I found a lot of errors in your foreword already. The foreword is really important. It’s what makes the readers click on the NEXT button. If your foreword has nothing good, they simply won’t continue reading.

Plot: 7/15
I can’t really say much because it’s not finished and the chapters are so short. I can’t really tell what kind of storyline you’re trying to tell us.


Flow: 5/10
The beginning is definitely rushed. Don’t make their feelings towards each other appear so quickly. You have to slow it down and write how they’re expressing their feelings and such.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 3/15
There is a lot of mistakes. Even in just the foreword, there were tons of spelling mistakes, grammar mistakes, and there were random letters placed in a single word. You have to make sure you double check before posting your story. It starts to get irritating if the spelling mistakes keep on coming up. You don’t have commas or period’s in the right place, so the readers don’t know when a sentence ends and when another one starts.

Characterization: 3/10

I only know that they are all pretty much crazy guys. Haha… You should add more detail and description. For example, try to describe what they are wearing. If not, try to put some information on the foreword.

Originality: 6/10
Refer to PLOT.

Writing style: 3/10
Your sentences are so bunched up together, it seems like it’s making my eyes hurt. Whenever I scroll down the page, I tend to lose my place because everything is bunched together. Try to separate your sentences. If not, make them into paragraphs instead. Make sure you capitalize the beginning of a sentence!

Overall enjoyment: 1.5/10

Overall score: 34/100