Wanderer by RAINxclouds

Author: RAINxclouds

Title: Wanderer

Link: http://winglin.net/fanfic/wanderer_/

Reviewer: Rachi @ Lost Shadows



Title: 5/5 ~ I liked it, nice and simple is the way to go for certain stories and you managed to pull it off for this one!



Poster/Background: 9/10 ~ I liked the background and poster themselves but I don’t see the connection between that and your story. I don’t think it encompassed the mood.



Forewords: 5/5 ~ Guess what? I think I’ve reviewed one of your stories before and I’m glad you decided to follow the advice of your reviewers (I love it when people do that!) and work on certain things :] Your foreword was so much better this time! I’m glad it was like an excerpt from the story itself but at the same time, was attention grabbing and could act as an introduction. I was kind of scared but it did make me excited to read on.



Plot: 14/15 ~ The plot itself was okay, I think this was more of a rant on your mother then an actual, legit story, huh? :] Because of that, I just couldn’t take it all that seriously haha. Half the time, I’m thinking “this girl’s got personality to manage to write a whole psycho-path horror on how much her mom annoys her.” But I enjoyed it, it was interesting and although it lacked detail and was rather short, it was nice (or should I say scary) to read.



Flow: 8/10 ~ I’m going to have to take some points off for this because there were some parts in the story that were kind of confusing and weren’t as smooth as they could have been, like the part about the 2 year old that her mom adopted, I really wanted more detail and was super confused (and still am) about what he did to her that she couldn’t attend the party. Also, when you mentioned her victims, I was ridiculously confused at what she had done to her mother and the kid (did she kill them?), what had happened between the boy and her (why did she even tell him it was her if she’s supposed to be dead?) and why she had staged her own death (just so she could go around and kill people?) I think that this is mainly because of a huge lack of detail but also because the transitions were kind of awkward.



Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 15/15 ~ Spelling was perfect and vocabulary was great; your choice of words fit the story so perfectly, I was amazed. The main problem with grammar was that there were some run-on sentences but those were used for emphasis on tone so I’m excusing that.



Characterization: 10/10 ~ I have to say that you characterized Kwon Yuri very, very well. You did a LOT of “showing” her personality in the form of her actions and thoughts instead of just straight-out telling the reader what she was about…I love that. I have no idea why you chose to use Kwon Yuri as the main character though, I don’t think anything about her had to do with story, I think it would’ve been better to just use a fictional character but that’s your choice and it didn’t affect the plot at all so it’s all good.



Orginality: 10/10 ~ Well, since I believe this story was thought up in a moment of emotion haha because you were pissed at your mom, it made it extremely unique and original. Sure, there are tons of psycho-path horror genres out there but this was unique simply because it was based off of what you felt at the time (I’m not saying you’re crazy or anything haha), which always makes the story a work of art.



Writing style: 10/10 ~ I’ve grown to like your writing style with every sentence that I read. It first bothered me how many run-on sentences there were as a result of your format but then I decided that it fit the mood of the story and has a good emphasis on tone.



Overall enjoyment: 10/10 ~ I enjoyed your story a lot :] I just wish there was more to it but I guess the shortness and simplicity of the story contributes to what makes it pretty darn great.



Overall score: 96/100